i finally did and i was screwed by them. they're damn pissed at me. guess they've the right to although i was kinda irritated that they, specifically ter and viv, had to use the reverse psychology crap on me. seriously i hate it. everyone gives me shit like tat.

and i tried calling SQ of course before i turned to u. if i can do it why would i ask you? i hate asking ppl for help, you of all ppl should noe tat.

fuck lah... i'm cranky, irritated and alone. yes everyone kill me, stone me.

well i'll call SQ tomorro myself and change the flight if i can. thank you for all the help.

and seriously like u fucking care. i really wonder sometimes.

it really slaps you in the face that, as cliche as it may sound, life is so unpredictable. it reminded me of late mrs tan's very famous advice to us as kids, when we were in our early teens. she told us to tell our parents/loved ones of how and why we should say "i love you" to them. i remember she almost choked when she said that because she didn't have the opportunity to say that to her mum. she would also have noticed that at that point in them we woulnd't understand at least 1/2 of wat she said but i think she prob assured herself that she at least planted a seed of thought that when we grew older we would learn and realise.


i pray that fei's parents, family members and friends would be comforted in this time. sigh..that's all i can do now.


sigh..life is just so fragile and short for us to involve ourselves in the pettiness and cares of the world.


i will try to make an effort to tell my parents and friends how much i love them, not IF i have the time or whether i feel like it. i need to...


God make me an instrument for you


quote of the day by kangfei (in friendster) "If I have not impacted your life, my job on earth is not finished yet.."

i've been reduced to this phrase that i'm too stubborn to listen. sigh. sometimes i just need a sympathetic ear. i don't need any advice because i'll solve it myself. neither do i need you to chide me. I just want you to be there, like how i would do the same.

i was talking to charms about my situation now and she did give me suggestions. I'm grateful for that and i'm not really unhappy about that fact. what i was perturbed was that when i tried to argue about some points, to substantiate what i said, she labeled me as "stubborn". maybe i am, ok, yes i am. still, i feel as though as i've been reduced to just being a stubborn ox, refusing to take in comments.

not that i haven't. i have. it landed me to where i am. i dun really wanna live life, being dictated by comments nor suggestions. suggestions are meant to have some sort of an effect of a scale. you weigh what you have and make decisions according to,well your circumstances.

i said what i said just now because i did put thought into it. your suggestions, i've considered as well. in fact i've considered them way before the time you told me. also we're in different circumstances. it sounds like i'm lamenting n providing excuses to whine but hey the fact of the matter is, we are different. we have our respective differences.

i listen to you lament about so much. maybe...just maybe cut me some slack here. hmm yeah i'm just whining. i'm tired. exams are in less than 1 week's time.