my dreams, my thoughts, my battles, my life

Tuesday, November 07, 2006
1:15 AM

vaguely specific

I couldn't sleep. It could be due to the fact that I tried to turn in early OR maybe it's because I was unhappy at someone. Oh well...I guess another sleepless night for me. But for some reason my heart seems to be racing incontrollably - I'm not talking excitement nor nervousness... I really reckon it's some physical condition. Maybe it's because of my incredible caffeine intake. Okay... *mental note to stop drinking so much coffee/tea*

I posted a question to that special someone, who was obviously oblivious to a lot around him/her.

What happens if you found out I (or your special someone) had only one day to live, what would you do?

A ridiculously vague answer followed "I would make it the best day possible for you. If u wanted to spend it with me i wld gladly show you the best day of your life".

1) I don't need textbook answers. Neither do I need you to tell me what I would probably know. I mean IF I am the love of your life, I wouldn't need to inform you that I wanted to spend time with you. I mean, isn't that a given already?? If I random ask ANYONE this question, i mean anyone, the first raw initial answer would probably be the same - to spend time with a loved one. Maybe it's just me to think it's a reaction to WANT to spend it with the someone.

2) Of course you'll try to make it the best day possible - HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY EVER WANT TO MAKE LIFE HELL FOR THE PERSON??? It doesn't make sense... does it! Nono...I want to make it so memorable, I'll try to kill the person earlier, send him/her to the grave earlier..whee?

3) Best day of my life? I'm sure that's a given, as stated above. I want bloody specifics. But of course I can't expect much from you now - we're just friends.

I've come to a conclusion - EVEN THOUGH this may sound absurdly idealistic and hard to fulfill, I shall try to live by it. Yes, I'm coming to it.... When I do get together with someone, I would want to make he (or god forbid, she) feel damn special, and it's not only during our honeymoon stage. I would want to try to live by the notion of "live like you'll never see tomorrow". It may mean that I'll be spontaneous, emotional, combined with a tinge of posessiveness (if there's such a word), and I may expect the same from my partner (which probably means I'd most likely be terribly disappointed) .

Soooooo..fingers crossed for now! =) God, I want a good bloke whom I can always rely on for emotional strength and spiritual guidance! Pleaaaaaaase I want a good bloke!

renzi screams again...

what really goes on inside my head?
evil thoughts
sad memories
plots
the "how-to"s
the "what-if"s

what i want to accomplish before i die
buy my own ring
earn at least 10K before i turn 30
support the family
bungee jump and survive
sky dive with someone i love
drop to at least a 47kg
say "i love you" to someone with conviction
reach,according to alvina, sexual peak...HAHAHA
say "i love you" to my parents
go to europe and backpack with someone
plan someone's wedding
make someone's day everyday
perform in at least one musical/play
open my own business (either pecking duck OR bakery)

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