screamings from the heart
i love my life
but sometimes it can be unbearable, not to mention heartbreaking
this is my life and my other side...
Friday, November 17, 2006
2:36 PM
I deserve it
I deserve it - that's what Karen would probably agree too. Guess sooner or later I've to let go, accept the fact that I've lost him, probably forever. Sigh... I'm extremely depressed now. Fuckin hell. Sigh... Below are the messages I sent to him like yesterday (after I bawled again, yet again...) and today:
For good, sigh everything seems meaningless now. Hope I get run over by a truck. On a more positive note i wish ya get a great gal heh you deserve much better than that horrible slut of your ex girlfriend, wat's her name? nah isn't impt. Oh if ya need any fd i'll arrange for candy to heh yeah.
I'll try. Good night my lost love..haha shit tat sounded very cheezy okok dont disturb ya liao...tata and i'll pray for God to give ya another superb gal
Good morning! hmm so sorry bout everything. Guess the thought of losing ya scares me. guess whatever i say doesn't matter too because i've lose ya alr
And when i puke its not bout losing weight now. It's bout feeling pain i guess. Sorry for everything once again. sigh
sigh
As do i..i'm even more sorry. I shouldn't have even bothered ya after we broke up. I'm sorry.
---
Guess after a while, you'll find a perfect gal for you. It pained me especially when you said i was your one last time. Why didn't you tell me so? Why? Watever it is, I know I don't deserve you and...even though it hurt me to pray tat prayer, I knew I had to pray that for you. Soon you'll be happy again, I know it... and you'll be singing this...
"And when I see the sign
It points one way
The life we used to lead
Everyday
Just walk away Renee
You won't see me follow you back home
The empty sidewalks on my block
They're not the same
You're not to blame
From deep inside the tears
I'm forced to cry
From deep inside the pain
I chose to hide
Just walk away Renee
You won't see me follow you back home
Now as the rain beats down
Upon my weary eyes
For me I cry
Your name and mine inside
A heart on a wall
Still finds a way to haunt me
Though they're so small
Just walk away Renee
You won't see me follow you back home
Now as the rain beats down
Upon my weary eyes
For me I cry
(Just walk away Renee)
Walk Away
(Just walk away Renee)
I won't follow you, no
(Just walk away Renee)
I won't follow you no, just walk away
(Just walk away Renee)
Just walk away
(Just walk away)"
I love you Kenneth
renzi screams again...
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what really goes on inside my head?
evil thoughts
sad memories
plots
the "how-to"s
the "what-if"s
what i want to accomplish before i die
buy my own ring
earn at least 10K before i turn 30
support the family
bungee jump and survive
sky dive with someone i love
drop to at least a 47kg
say "i love you" to someone with conviction
reach,according to alvina, sexual peak...HAHAHA
say "i love you" to my parents
go to europe and backpack with someone
plan someone's wedding
make someone's day everyday
perform in at least one musical/play
open my own business (either pecking duck OR bakery)
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contact me
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