screamings from the heart
i love my life
but sometimes it can be unbearable, not to mention heartbreaking
this is my life and my other side...
Friday, May 05, 2006
12:38 AM
i found it
just got back from dinner by myself. i actually came home slightly earlier, only to find the pesky brother and...well the rest of the pack at home. ah! mum and dad werent home too. so yeah that leaves the maid and the grandmother. i found it too depressing to stay at home so i drifted to...the pub. watched a dramatic show on tv. ha! as if my life aint dramatic enough.
sometimes i really wonder what's wrong with me. i've been trying to figure that out for the past 2 years. somehow along the way, i fucked up. wait, maybe i've been fucking up all my life - attempting to go against my parents probably wasn't challenging enough, even dealing with my brother wasn't a stirrer. what's wrong with me.
guess i'll learn about that, i have to. or rather i need to. times like these, i need people like jon, rencong, meng or even dom (that idiot promised he'll call me today sigh). for some reason i could run to them to whine. today's one of those days but somehow i can't.
at least i took pleasure in gorging today. in the office especially. at the pub, i had myself a portion of them chicken wings, yeappp...those delightful sinful deep fried wings. this was followed by an easy purging of everything bad today. later, i was fine.
i'm still fine..i tink.. =p well at least i learnt something today - it doesn't take me much to puke. bulemics stick a finger in their throat (at their initial stage) but i can jus vomit whenever.
time to go...
i want a break..maybe i'll go for a holiday next week. i took leave on thurs. where should i go?
renzi screams again...
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what really goes on inside my head?
evil thoughts
sad memories
plots
the "how-to"s
the "what-if"s
what i want to accomplish before i die
buy my own ring
earn at least 10K before i turn 30
support the family
bungee jump and survive
sky dive with someone i love
drop to at least a 47kg
say "i love you" to someone with conviction
reach,according to alvina, sexual peak...HAHAHA
say "i love you" to my parents
go to europe and backpack with someone
plan someone's wedding
make someone's day everyday
perform in at least one musical/play
open my own business (either pecking duck OR bakery)
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