screamings from the heart
i love my life
but sometimes it can be unbearable, not to mention heartbreaking
this is my life and my other side...
Monday, April 10, 2006
1:53 AM
love is dead
i'm sick and tired of the entity of love. there is no such thing as love. the only so-called love is conditional love which, to me, is not considered love at all.
why the hell are we so disillusioned over love then? does it keep us going? does it serve to give us some sort of warm fuzzy feeling, or maybe even to fill up a certain void in us? so many are just caught up in pursuing the idea of love wuthout even knowing what the hell it is.
we've been fed by movies, stories that love is alive. but is it? i think not. our love for our family, friends, it's all driven by motives, selfish desires. it's all conditional, stated with terms and conditions. why the fuck do we still subscribe to it? why do we throw ourselves in the furnace of "love" when it will come and burn us in the end? is it that exciting? it it that exhiliarating?
love is like raw salmon being left out in the open - it tastes great being served, but if you leave it for long, it grows mouldy and unworthy to be eaten. love just gives us the illusion that once you're filled with it, you feel energised and happy, but after a while, when shit happens, when the going gets tough, when one gets bored, tired, it goes downhill.
maybe that's why i detest happy endings in stories. (why are kids even made to read stories which dictate something so irrelevant in their lives?)
and even if there is such a thing as love, when it's coupled with other aspects of our llives, we struggle and give up.
SOooooooo what does it actually say about love?
there's just no such thing as love.
renzi screams again...
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what really goes on inside my head?
evil thoughts
sad memories
plots
the "how-to"s
the "what-if"s
what i want to accomplish before i die
buy my own ring
earn at least 10K before i turn 30
support the family
bungee jump and survive
sky dive with someone i love
drop to at least a 47kg
say "i love you" to someone with conviction
reach,according to alvina, sexual peak...HAHAHA
say "i love you" to my parents
go to europe and backpack with someone
plan someone's wedding
make someone's day everyday
perform in at least one musical/play
open my own business (either pecking duck OR bakery)
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