my dreams, my thoughts, my battles, my life

i love my life
but sometimes it can be unbearable, not to mention heartbreaking
this is my life and my other side...

Friday, April 14, 2006
3:01 AM

i hate being pissed

i get pissed when someone gets pissed. i hate that feeling. i know it's some sort of a defense mechanism but it prevents me from getting hurt.

i'm sorry if i'm not that kinda girl who would appease an angry person. the more you hint or blatantly tell me, the more i refuse to spill out the words that you want to hear. i'm that kind of a person. call me selfish, or stubborn. call me whatever names you want to call me (i'm used to the name-calling from various individuals already). fine. be angry at me, whatever. seriously this is probably why i lost mrE. being stubborn, selfish and petty doesn't get you anywhere, and just for the record i'm talkin about myself. but hey, being sarcastic and hurtful does likewise too - doesn't get you anywhere.

i think i'm makin progress in terms of making time for you - ask mrE.

i feel like this little girl facing her authoratative dad, pressured and meek. i have to answer all questions being posed, and i have to feel stupid. i feel like whatever answers that i give won't be good enough, or well, it would sound like dumb excuses, or i don't want to end my answer with a "but...." because it'll prob be hurful. i do not want to also answer for the sake of answering. i've always stood by it. or well i want to or try to.

maybe that's one of my flaws - pride.

take it or leave it.

renzi screams again...

what really goes on inside my head?
evil thoughts
sad memories
plots
the "how-to"s
the "what-if"s

what i want to accomplish before i die
buy my own ring
earn at least 10K before i turn 30
support the family
bungee jump and survive
sky dive with someone i love
drop to at least a 47kg
say "i love you" to someone with conviction
reach,according to alvina, sexual peak...HAHAHA
say "i love you" to my parents
go to europe and backpack with someone
plan someone's wedding
make someone's day everyday
perform in at least one musical/play
open my own business (either pecking duck OR bakery)

click below to
contact me

break daa silence *

actually i love silence...

my loves also include...
ball games
kenneth
my friends
my privacy

i love my past
August 2004 l September 2004 l October 2004 l November 2004 l December 2004 l January 2005 l March 2005 l April 2005 l May 2005 l June 2005 l July 2005 l August 2005 l September 2005 l October 2005 l November 2005 l December 2005 l January 2006 l February 2006 l March 2006 l April 2006 l May 2006 l June 2006 l July 2006 l August 2006 l October 2006 l November 2006 l December 2006 l January 2007 l

my other side
Me

Special thanks and mention to...
_upside-down*
from blogskins
`-kurt halsey*
for the drawing