screamings from the heart
i love my life
but sometimes it can be unbearable, not to mention heartbreaking
this is my life and my other side...
Sunday, January 15, 2006
12:16 PM
bright and sunny day
it's sunday, my fourth sunday back home. well it's 3rd since i spent a sunday in malaysia. enough of the technicalities (as if life aint complicated enough).
sometimes i think that i'm really making life difficult for myself. someone once told me that life's simple but i beg to differ. i'd like to think that life's pretty simple but us humans just love to stir things up for ourselves =p we make life more 'exciting' but adding different spices and at times, too much for our own good. for me especially i seem to be doing that.
in fact i seem to be doing that a looot more than others. not that i thrive in it. i should be learning from my mistakes and becoming wiser as i grow older but everytime i look at myself in the mirror, i see a girl. i see a small girl who's getting mentally younger by the day. i dunno whether that makes sense but hey i just feel that way.
i don't see what the guys see in me and sometimes i just wish that they can find someone else each. hahah selfish thought on my side because it definitely makes things easier for me. i know i've been been selfish for the past couple of weeks. wait a minute, let me get that right - past life! man. sometimes i just feel like shooting myself. kill me somebody, for i've just been a plain bitchy gal who just drags everyone down.
sigh...i really hope i made a right decision to be friends with them for now till CNY. we'll see. somehow i feel that i'm delaying the inevitable. but i guess i'll have to decide soon, very soon.
anyway time to go...i need to wash up, and go to church.
renzi screams again...
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what really goes on inside my head?
evil thoughts
sad memories
plots
the "how-to"s
the "what-if"s
what i want to accomplish before i die
buy my own ring
earn at least 10K before i turn 30
support the family
bungee jump and survive
sky dive with someone i love
drop to at least a 47kg
say "i love you" to someone with conviction
reach,according to alvina, sexual peak...HAHAHA
say "i love you" to my parents
go to europe and backpack with someone
plan someone's wedding
make someone's day everyday
perform in at least one musical/play
open my own business (either pecking duck OR bakery)
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