my dreams, my thoughts, my battles, my life

Wednesday, November 23, 2005
2:54 AM

ouch

i'm probably just drained, physcially drained. i've been pretty much doin nothing.....jus watching DVDs, enjoyin life..... =PPP

i'm goin to work...wow...soon akan datang....

tired.... i'm being incoherent as usual bah. quite disappointed things turned out this way. oh well...

renzi screams again...

Thursday, November 17, 2005
1:09 AM

randomness

i've so much that's swimmin in my head, it's really hard to pin-point what/how i'm feeling.

i'm lost, most definitely, as to what i should do. sometimes i really hate options. funny thing is, when u are not presented with choices on a platter, you start complaining. if anything goes wrong, we can safely blame it on the lack of choice.

i'm sad, i have no idea why. maybe the impending is looming. i'm so near to the date of departure. i don't want to leave this place but i'm afraid, i really am. i'm scared that i'm making decisions because of my stupidity and my sick reason to escape.

i'm going to miss my housemates. spending more and more time with them just makes me want to tie them and prevent them from going back.

i'm relieved. exams are over.

i'm happy, that there's an 80% chance of goin back to see ppl back home. there's so much drama here. i can't take it.

i'm perplexed why there's so much drama serials. don't we have enough drama in our lives as it is?

i'm worried - about everything. trust me. the brother's future, earning enough to support my family, i can't marry, i can't have children, i dun want to... worrying about 4 ppl is enough to kill me.

i'm just a confused child

renzi screams again...

another priority

hmmm while watching this show with a couple of the peeps, this friend called. i spoke to this friend for close to 1/2 an hour. sigh i'm worried for him/her. i really hope he/she is coping well.

i'm not really good at advice, and neither am i good at words. hell, i'm probably the last person to churn out something nice, comforting but i definitely know that i'll be there. i think i made that clear to this friend as well.

another priority, this friend. i really love this friend and wish the best for him/her.

Lord, please make my friend stronger. Give my friend the strength, the supernatural strength, to live each day as it comes. Father I pray for my friend that you would show yourself to him/her and that you'll reveal and enlighten him/her, letting her know that you'll be there 24/7. Amen.

renzi screams again...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005
10:27 AM

my priorities

well...for now...by this friday, i need to get two things done 1) my resume (to start sending them to ppl) and 2) the MMN minutes hahahah.... i'm done with everything except the last minutes...(*$&#*(@

other than that, my other priority will be my housemates, esp susu. i know i'll miss her and after the adelaide trip i wouldn't be able to spend time with her because she would be backpacking and by the time she comes back her parents would be here (and she mentioned it's as good as not having her in the house).

myyy..i really can't imagine that i would be so attached to my housemates. wow...2 weeks can change perceptions. i kinda cut off all ties with everyone and pretty much stayed at home to eat everyday. sigh i love my housemates and i'm goin to miss those two gila girls. sigh.... =(((

hmmm... guess i've to go bathe now and get some more photos from cheng

renzi screams again...

Thursday, November 10, 2005
12:05 AM

scared shitless...

man i'm scared for this first paper...i'm even more scared for buyer behaviour (BB). while goin through the contents of BB with her today, i was convinced i was screwed for the ppr. anyway i'm finished with what i'm supposed to do for professional services for now. heh...*crosses fingers* give me models and i'm happy. give me concepts n i'm screwed.

okayyy..for the last time...remember...that customers are the one who perceive bloody service quality (yeah right).... it depends on expectations-disconfirmation , series of moments of truths and can be judged by models like SERQUAL (tangibles, empathy, assurance, reliability, reassurance). foundations of quality include the functional, technical, economical, serviscape and image.

gap analysis.....shows the potentiality of how service can fail, aids managers in how they should design services. gap1: management perception gap, gap2 (g2): quality specifications gap, g3:service delivery gap, g4:market communications gap, most importantly...GAP5:between expectations and perceived service.

hur hur...goin through marketing strategy process is jus to make me feel better.... strategy: handful of dynamic and creative decisions that shape/drive company's actions. importance.....UDEASER.... =)

okok..time to try to calm myself down...i need to run...i really need toooo.......

renzi screams again...

Wednesday, November 09, 2005
9:57 PM

blasting music...to mask the bloody laughter, chatter, watever

TMD TMD...KKN.... oh well..i can't complain can't i, full knowing that i'm one of the suckers who finishes last...TMD..............and i'm not nice. i thought nice ppl finish last. *grumble* hahahahahaha....

remember.......service charter/mission statement for a defined market is linked to the second part of the framework for service offering-basic services package (include facilitating, core, supporting services which constitute the technical outcome of the offering)

augmented service offering takes into account process-related features....accessibility, customer participation, interaction........production of service not separated from consumption

servicescape is the baby...is the babyyyy........where people experience the firm's facility. uses:aids/hinders goal-related, should ideally support the needs and preferences. framework in general includes...............1)environment dimensions - ambient conditions, signs, spatial layout 2)holistic environment 3)moderators - personality traits, situational factors, expectations 4)internal response - physiological, cognitive, emotional 5)behaviours - avoid/approach, social interactions....

rememberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....bitner 1992 and anderson and his bloody friends....whooooo agreed that serviscape/ physical settings might be a deciding factor of satisfaction ...revelation of the day.

mannn...i'm so going to die if they conbine quesitons because i've only done 4 out of 6 main sections.... i'm done for if they decide to combine quesitons...think i said that already..argh!!! i need to attempt 4 questions.....4....4....4...........in chinese it's si which means dieee...dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....

renzi screams again...

studying is a hazard to all students

identifying, establishing, maintaining, enhancing, if necessary terminating relationships with clients and other nec partners/suppliers/stakeholders to accomplish goals (external organisational and internal marketing).

RM is one of the foundations of PSM. Others include service perspective.

remember the 3 values (gronroos etc'94) , alignment, collaboration (brodie)....importance: costs, changing marketing mix, profitability from existing clients (Fornell'92-higher prospects, referrels, internal efficiencies, costs, likely to use company's)....

strategy and tactics....1)define as service business 2)process mgt perspective 3)establishin partnership and networks 4) database 5)direct contact with clients 6)develop customer oriented service system

CRPM...p.value (<--p.sacrifice+p.quality) -->c. satisfaction (-->commitment+bonds) --> RS (--> critical episodes+alternatives) --> RL (configuration of episodes+customer share) --> CRP

MANNN I NEED TO STUDY FOR CONSUMERRRRRRRRRRR no more no more..help!!!

renzi screams again...

it's goin to come back to haunt me

i am a very lazy girl. that's a fact. i don't think i would need ANYONE to reiterate that point to me. hahahaha well i was going through consumer behaviour with her when she mentioned how lazy i was. it dawned on me that i really cannot be bothered to study properly, i always go for the easiest route. it's been like that since secondary school i reckon. it's probably one of the reasons why i did so badly during my As - i studied barely enough for the geog paper and i could only answer 3 out of 4 questions. sigh. here i go again for professional services marketing. i studied the minimum and i'm expecting high returns. tsk. i'm dreaming... =ppp

---

services delivered by a provider with skills that require lengthy training which can be applied to practice , competence ina field of knowledge.

i must remember stewart'98, hill & neeley'88 and thakor and kumar'00 for this particular section.

remember expertise, expertise, expertise....competency, competency, competency....

unit of analysis & time perspective

dominating marketing functions and price elasticity

dominating quality dimensions

measure of customer satisfaction and customer information systems

structural importance of collaboration within the organisation

role of internal marketing

---

eeks eeks... it's only the 1/4 i need to learn. renee you can do it!

renzi screams again...

i really am anal

i know i'm ranting but..........it's my exams, in fact my last exams, i really wanna do well. stupid neighbours having this party now. TMD. screaming and shouting. actually it's not their first time. during the weekend they had another party. mannn i should do something like that next year IF i do stay man. forgive and forget renee, forgiveeeee...breaaaaaaaattthhhhh.

anyywayyy... we were msg-ing....hahaha we're still msging. hehehe...i dunno why i'm so jubilant over msgs by a gal. *gasp*** shock shock, horror horror, maybeee...only maybeeeee i have lesbian tendencies.....(where's the *tern tern tern* effect??) hahahah nah lah...we're just making each other more stressed. she's coming over to my place to discuss marketing (and probably gossip) tomorrow but i think it's the situation of the blind leading the blind. hahahha we shall see. gawwwwwsshhh..did i already say she's pretty? =)

okok...time to go finish one more last chapter before i lay me down to sleep. i want to wake up early because i need to train myself to wake up in an ungodly hour.

you can do it renee!

renzi screams again...

Tuesday, November 08, 2005
10:19 PM

i'm bein myself - anal

argh..noise footsteps laughter...i call hear all of that downstairs....!

i haven't friggin finished my exams yet!!

=(

renzi screams again...

i need to start studying

*mumble grumble* stupid poster...hahaha oh well...i'm goin to procrastinate AGAIN by eating chocolates, watching dr phil and days of our lives.

*mumble grumble* stupid hay fever...my eyes still feel sore.

*mumble grumble* i need to start running. stupid weather. when i get an ok from doc, it starts raining.

*mumble grumble* stupid exams...i have already planned my post-exam activities, well at least for the weekend...wheee! friday, clubbing with at least 30 people....saturday, cleaning the damn house and going out with my cousin (it's her birthday).....sunday, resting at home and well chilling with DA housemate. we're going to chill, talk cock and drink some light cocktails. i can't wait =)

btw: as much as i would sound so gay when i say this, i think this gal is sooooo pretty =) hehehe i should be seeing her soon... wheee

renzi screams again...

Sunday, November 06, 2005
2:41 PM

hay fever

i wonder why they call hay fever "hay fever", i mean why not like spring fever...? or watever...(i'm very bad with names). hahaha well...speaking of which, i think i may have hay fever. even the stupid doc thinks (yes, thinks) it's hay fever. oh well. i tink i need to rest my eyes. actually i just need rest. i need an excuse, wait...reassssoooon for me to rest. i'm been pretty lethargic lately. and horror of horrors, i'm goin to get my menses soon. grrrr. curse of women. =ppp

anyway i happened to update my expenses record and decided to tabulate how much i've spent so far in aus. sigh i've spent approximately 12k already!!!!! that's a friggin load of money and i'm feeling so guilty. but i guess i'm living within my expenses so that's alright and i'm getting money back from selling some items. whooo! i'll probably collect the money and let it rot in my account for a few years, if possible =) i'm also quite glad that i'm not really a spendthrift and i dun go into bouts of shopping sprees. this is probably one the reasons why i can't wait to start earning money. i need money baby, keep the cash flowing in! =)

speaking of spending, i really dun understand how some people can actually spend on anything and everything. no doubt they do save a little here and there from using their knowledge, calculations and research, some items in my opinion are just plain wants. they come up with the fancy reasons to mask the excuses but well...it's sometimes just a waste of money. i feel bad for their parents sometimes. guess in some ways i'm glad that mother always reminds me and makes me feel like crap about spending. earning money is hard, and if their kids are not in their shoes it'd be diff to actually realise that. ok! i shall send an ecard to thank mother today... =) hahaha she'd prob be thinking errrrrrrrrr.....is this renee? but seriously tink she deserves to know that i really appreciate it. =)

enough of money matters. speaking of money always makes me guilty and stressed (because it's not my money hahahaha). as if studying right now is not stressful enough. hahahah...okok...tink i'd better lie down for a bit before studying. i've two guests today! i'm cooking teochew ba chor mee and watching aussie idol before i start continue mugging. wheee =)))

renzi screams again...

hahahhaa NEVER judge a book by its cover, and i mean NEVER =) i had this chat with this wonderful gal, well...a chat which lasted for a good 2 hours i might add. we seem to know SOOO many people and it's been a while since i have spoken to a singapore gal for that long a duration.

really never judge a book by its cover. she looks prettier to me as time goes by too. =)

and no, i'm not a lesbian.

renzi screams again...

Saturday, November 05, 2005
10:22 PM

yeah yeah

this friend keeps asking me about some notes, well, let me rephrase, FOR notes for another friend. firstly, you can ask for my notes but ask ME. don't ask someone else to do the dirty deed for you. i think it's insincere and irresponsible for you to even do that, much more for notes. sheesh. if you haven't been for classes or taken notes for the lecture because u're lazy, why should i help you. i dun give a two hoots whether u're friggin rich. i'll be that some day. =)

secondly, beg me. i love people to implore. yes i'm a sick selfish bitch, bite me. okay..tat sounds damn bad but once again, do i give?

if tat's not blatant enough for you, the answer is no.

i've been working my arse off for these two subjects, worrying sick for these two, last two subjects and you're asking me what quesitons will be asked. wah laoo...if i noe would i still even be studying, wait, i wouldn't even be working! i'd be some genius! whooo! seriously. how stupid can your questions get?? sheesh. and come up with well constructive questions, not wat will come out for the friggin papers!

i really have no idea why i'm so worked up and why i'm finding reasons to justify my actions. okay...from the attribution theory that i came across, it's because i try to explain causes to events. oh well...

i'm jus prob...1) tired from studying. tat's prob why i came online. glad to see some ppl online 2) pissed that here i am studying so damn hard i might add and someone else is playing her arse off, AND asking me what will be coming out.....it's almost equivalent to ppl not goin for lectures and asking for lecture notes from others in wk13. it's so unjustified. i've been in the shoes of that particular 'friend' aw come on, everyone skips lectures once in a while, well for my case, esp in first year it wasn't just a once in a bluemoon event, but yeah...i've been through that phase, i've been through that stage where i find a million and one excuses to not attend classes but now i've changed and i feel bad for no t going for lessons . (this is in the past so...well i FELT bad...). yeahhh... i'm jus goin round and round. i can't even be bothred to edit what i'm writing. i'm rambling. but i dun even AASKKK ppl for notessss..tat's the diff.....

since i'm jus rambling...i might as well do it some more....(shit shit...i need ot study)... well... i know i'm different in some aspects. i'm not like normal gals. i'm not chatty. i dun like talking. let's face it renee, you're lazy. Hell yeah, i'm lazy. i'm lazy to talk, lazy to socialise. i'm so damn sick of making small talk over and over again. i'm so sick of life sometimes. but the show must go on yeah? sigh...why can't i be bothered. i noe some may argue that if i blog about it i'm bothered. i dunno lah..........................=(((

wu zhen de bu zhi dao....i'm just a confused child. sniffles.

renzi screams again...

stark contrast

THERE IS THIS STARK CONTRAST FROM YESTERDAYYYYYYYYYY...AND I DUNNO WHY I'M TYPING THIS IN CAPS......hahahaha...i shall attempt to write like how i usually do in year 1....=ppp....man my eyes are killing me...i really think this time round i'm having a slight case of wat's that called...oh hayfever.shitshitshit!!! nooooo i dun wannnnnnnnnnnnnn.... nooooooo.... i hate the feeling of being sick, then again i've been pretty much down with some irritating bug for almost a mth.TMD...damn it...i still have phelgm, and renewing my damn OSHC card, and goin to the doc didn't do any good.sniffles. i wanna run...i really want to.....i feel...........bubbly (that's the only word that came to mind)...bubbly...but bubbly has another meaning. ahh wateverrrr..as long as i get it...i dun really care. hahahahaha...u noe wat i dun really care about something else...hahaha comments that come out from my chou zui ba hahahah...mannn speaking of chinese i tried speaking to the girls (christie, cheng and susu) andd i failed terribly...sigh wo bu shi hua ren helllpppp...noooooooooooooooooooooooooo.... oh yeah... i jus noticed my title again...

yesterday i was on a roll, studying and it was a productive day, not to mention well the silly prances round my room screaming on the top of my voice to james brown's song. it's so different today. sigh. i feel so lethargic and nothing seems to be goin in. at this rate, i'm screwed. i dun wanna go in for my exam! i dun wanna do badly! i dun wanna jus pass, or fail of course! damn it damn it damn it....i tink i'll grab some sleep before dinner. dum dee dum...

i have to say....i miss the HUMs...i really do. yeshhh i noe i'm so random in this entry today but i dun really care lah, fuck it...hahah i really miss the buncha ppl that i knew earlier. i'm not saying that the people whom i know now are second-class, nor am i saying that their better friends, i'm just saying it's so different. the year 1 lifestyle is WAYYY different from this year, or well last year *rolls eyes for obvious reasons*. sigh... it's probably because of my reunion with at least 1/2 of the HUMs yesterday. it was a breath of fresh air again. hahah... how ironic, really ironic that at that instant, i was tinking, i just wish...yada yada...well..we can NEVER be satisfied eh? oh well....

time to go now i tink.... i need to lie down....i'm a sick gal....maybe it's psychological...but watever!!!!! your mother works in maccas!! hahaha mann i'm so random today that it's killing me, and I AM NOT LAUGHIN....(even though i keep putting ahahhaaS...it's such a bad habit..hahaha ARGGGHHH)

ok i'm ghost.

renzi screams again...

Friday, November 04, 2005
3:28 PM

a reminder from a friend

well i was watching oprah today (yeshhhhh i know i shouldn't) and among other issues, one thing/phrase hit me - hating and being angry takes up so much of your energy and time.

how true is that??? =) well i'm glad i took an hour off to watch her show. that little reminder is much needed now.

isn't that true? i mean we spend so much time fretting and being pissed over matters, which sometimes are beyond our control. we take up time and effort and what does that do to us? nothing! absolutely nothing. we need to be aware of this because feelings and emotions like anger, disgust will eat us up. it's just a matter of time. it slows us down and it prevents us from living fully.

i've gotta deal with something that i've been avoiding for the past decade. when i go home, i will want to face it. it had stopped me from being free and it has really prevented me from experiencing various aspects of life that i really want to encounter =).

for now i shall study, VERY hard in fact.

I can't wait for the exams to be over =)

renzi screams again...

Thursday, November 03, 2005
4:42 PM

think happy thoughts renee!

DAMN IT. i lost EVERY thing that i wrote. okok...let me try to recall....happy thoughts, happy thoughts....fried carrot cake, coconut juice, wantan mee (spore version), steak and mushroom (mamak style), piping hot cuppa horlicks, jiao zi, chilli crab sauce,..... damn it thinking about all the food is making me fat......okok....happy thoughts renee.........................

watching sunrise and the sun set, meeting kenneth again, clothes, money, walking along the beach, walking aimlessly, meeting my gals and boys back home (spices, meng, ren, karen, hopefully wee), wait, did i mention BURNING MY FRIGGIN NOTES???

man i can't wait for my exams to be over. yesh. i can't wait. 8 more days and i'm done. 8 more days and i'm done, 8 more days and i'm done. i need my break. i need my break. i'm going crazy, i'm going crazy, i'm sooooooo stressed! help!

renzi screams again...