my dreams, my thoughts, my battles, my life

Monday, September 05, 2005
10:49 AM

someone shoot me

i've this bad habit- judge people before i know them. it's bad but it's true. the word 'true' can be seen in two contexts. one, that i am acknowledging that i know that fact, and two, that whatever 'judgements' i make is sadly true, in sync to watever that i see in tat person (even after i get to know the person).

dunno whether tat makes sense. all i can say is that sometimes i assess people and well assume that they possess certain qualities (good AND bad). when i get to know them, i realise whatever thoughts i have about them is mostly true. so far, i've been pretty successful and i wonder whether it's a good gift or a curse...hmm

i'm however intriged by the fact that it's hard to read some people. tat's a quality of some that really draws me to get to know them better. people like alvin, kee, ken, dom....i'll never be able to read them wholly but i know i want to find out about them ,wat they think. even characters like house (yeah maybe i've been watchin too much of house) lure me to their characters. i know it's definitely not some sick perverse element in me that finds the joy in doin tat just to satisfy myself that i've 'conquered' their inner psyche but i tink it's very interesting in life to have such people. it may get very tiring to well find out about them but hey the satisfaction of knowing them and getting close to them is better than knowing wat, 10 acquaintances. =ppp (man tat was a bold statement. someone shoot me!!)

maybe it's because they talk less even though they look like they have so much to say (this does not apply to house). or maybe they are actually hiding somehting and i'm the sick perverse bitch who wants to get to know them jus for their tini little secret. or maybe i kinda see myself in them and i not only accept them for who they are but...i wanna be on the same level?

oh well..the beauty of all us beings.

renzi screams again...

what really goes on inside my head?
evil thoughts
sad memories
plots
the "how-to"s
the "what-if"s

what i want to accomplish before i die
buy my own ring
earn at least 10K before i turn 30
support the family
bungee jump and survive
sky dive with someone i love
drop to at least a 47kg
say "i love you" to someone with conviction
reach,according to alvina, sexual peak...HAHAHA
say "i love you" to my parents
go to europe and backpack with someone
plan someone's wedding
make someone's day everyday
perform in at least one musical/play
open my own business (either pecking duck OR bakery)

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