my dreams, my thoughts, my battles, my life

Sunday, September 04, 2005
5:02 PM

reading and reading...

well i had nothing better to do so i started reading blogs AGAIN. reading blogs can be pretty unhealthy because i get affected quite often and it really amuses me.

i chanced upon an old entry written by kareen about me. she said "I remember a period which I didn't really like Renee cause I found her too loud for my taste. That, of course, has changed since. She's really awesome. " tat really made me laugh but it really drives home a point, well to me at least. like what i've always said i can't please everyone. pleasing everyone is a tough job. in fact it's so tiring because it dissolves the core you. i dun mind like succumbing to requests and even opinions by close friends but...hey once u start being swayed by everyone, it'll be a neverending task of tryin. also, you'd be caught in dilemmas and politics that are trivial.

and it also made me realise that i dun really care about what some people say. i mean if one makes sweeping statements about me, so be it. i may be affected and fall from watever comments that have been made but well i'm a person who lets is flow past me after a while. i put it at the back of my head, maybe shove it in my closet somewhere or even jus displace it. it makes things easier, for me that is. it's tiring to worry and fret about such things. i'm speakin this in general terms, if u dun make an effort to make friends with me, or get to know me, well ur comments about me is unfounded, untrue and probably extremely biased. it's your loss not mine. =) tat's wat i tink la. hahaha i can't control wat others tink about me, but well i can still control how i am like. and if i'm like tat and u haven't discovered it, it's not my job to do it. it's not even my job to make u like me. i reckon i have enough friends to last me a lifetime already. so no biggie.

dunno...ive been tinkin about this for so long. =) since last year because of wat people talk about. hahah i'm sooo glad that i've friends who stand by me. even though sometimes i bitch about them. well there's always a diff between a bitch (like me) who bitches to others and even the 'victims' and person who jus plain bitches about someone behind his/her back. =) i'll still stand by the people whom i constructively criticise (hmm tat sounds like abetter phrase) them.

mannn i've deviated. yeah...sometimes blogs jus make me worry about the people but oh well... freedom of speech rules eh? and i can't do much also.... okok.....task for the week other than detoxing: NOT TO READ ANY BLOGS. i reckon talkin to a person and finding out about a person is a more engaging act of concern. screw internet and schools of thought that preach about itneractivity and closeness. =p

phrase of the day .... dun tink it, just do it!

renzi screams again...

what really goes on inside my head?
evil thoughts
sad memories
plots
the "how-to"s
the "what-if"s

what i want to accomplish before i die
buy my own ring
earn at least 10K before i turn 30
support the family
bungee jump and survive
sky dive with someone i love
drop to at least a 47kg
say "i love you" to someone with conviction
reach,according to alvina, sexual peak...HAHAHA
say "i love you" to my parents
go to europe and backpack with someone
plan someone's wedding
make someone's day everyday
perform in at least one musical/play
open my own business (either pecking duck OR bakery)

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