my dreams, my thoughts, my battles, my life

Thursday, September 29, 2005
4:16 AM

i miss mama

still a bit dazed, it's 4am i jus woke up from a dream. it wasn't scary, but neither was it a good dream.

dreamt that we were somewhere with all the people we knew, suddenly mama started pukin and convulsing. can't remember much more of this scene but i remember screaming and letting out a lot of angst because so many people didn't cooperate to help us.

then came our family trying to bring mama to a safe place to recieve treatment. we climbed through many obstacles before reachin this gate, where dad and mum had this heated argument about the lock system. the system unlocked but we had another obstacle to overcome - the multitude of cars which were almost similar, because apparantly dad was one of the many batmans trying to activate his batmobile.

i dragged the rest (persis, mum, por por, ray and mama) out of that place before we had to leave mama at this bus stop. (this is flawed because i'll never do that, ie forsake her like tat) por por suggested that we should do that, and the rest of the pack agreed. for some reason i relented and went with them to look for help.

now this part is VERY fuzzy. i can't reconcile where por por and ray ended up. persis and mum on the other hand, wanted to do some shopping at what it seemingly looked like chinatown because "it was a bargain" (cheap buggers). i started fuming because we were supposed to look for doctor wong to treat mama. so i walked away from them and they unwillingly stopped their window stopping. mum had this great idea of buying drinks, and i couldn't take it so i left the pair. i remember distinctively that mum whispered to persis that she wouldn't buy anythign for me to drink but the two-faced bitch told me that she would get something for me.

this time, i was in blades and i zoomed to the bus stop where mama was being dumped. but before i knew it, the scene changed slightly. it was almost as if i was in this sinking boat and rushin for time to beat the clock. i looked around for, dun ask me, ray. one of the boys prob one of his friends told me i was too late. i panicked and screamed for him. another one boy said he was in the prison. then i saw him locked in this cage. he smiled weakly and said "someone came to look for me" but before he could come out from the cage, his bastardy friends said "noooo...unless she strips"

hmm yeah tat was wat i could remember. i'm feelin more tired from the sleep. i hope i can go back to sleep. mann! if only i could know wat tat dream meant. i know most dreams dun mean a thing..but jus curious. oh well. time to go back to sleep

renzi screams again...

what really goes on inside my head?
evil thoughts
sad memories
plots
the "how-to"s
the "what-if"s

what i want to accomplish before i die
buy my own ring
earn at least 10K before i turn 30
support the family
bungee jump and survive
sky dive with someone i love
drop to at least a 47kg
say "i love you" to someone with conviction
reach,according to alvina, sexual peak...HAHAHA
say "i love you" to my parents
go to europe and backpack with someone
plan someone's wedding
make someone's day everyday
perform in at least one musical/play
open my own business (either pecking duck OR bakery)

click below to
contact me