screamings from the heart
i love my life
but sometimes it can be unbearable, not to mention heartbreaking
this is my life and my other side...
Sunday, August 07, 2005
2:47 AM
argh
argggh....i'm gargling and foaming in my mouth...stupid damn it!!!!!! bahhh i can't remember what i wanted to say. tat was only wat, 10 minutes ago? damn it. stupid stupid stupid....!!! while tucking my sheets in my bolster i thought of something quite smart, but it's just completely gone. moral of the story: procrastination gets you nowhere. ESPECIALLY for a forgetful person like me. damn it! i will make a mental note to TRY not to procrastinate because....
procrastination breeds forgetfulness (in my case)....
ARGH!!! anyway i'm damn peeved with him. with the one and only...it's the k word this time. he's one of the few people who can put me to tears E-A-S-I-L-Y. sigh matters of the heart really can tear you apart. oh well. sometimes i really wonder, and question his taste in gals. i mean why me? hahaha i'm not asking for any reassurance but i was jus tinking...
1) i'm not as pretty as my close galfriends around me. yeah i am not supposed to be even doing such a thing, as to compare, but being human, sometimes you do. my gosh wat's wrong with me. i was even jealous of jean a while back. i'm so damn ashamed and felt stupid (esp AFTER i told the two of them). argghhhhhhh....
2) i cna't hold a decent conversation with anyone. wat happened to the renee i knew a few years back? i told i could easily amuse anyone, and i mean ANYONE, when i was younger. argh i'm morphing into mum!!!
3) i'm not slim. hmmm guess i can work on that. the only thing i can do. sigh...
FUCK THE WHORES OF THE WORLD!!!! fuck jealousy! fuck sex! fuck relationships! fuck every single thing that induces emotions.
i'm really intersted to find out what i'm really tinking about. maybe i should go for some hypnosis or psychoanalysis. i'm very intersted. hmmmmmmmm.....dum dee dum....
renzi screams again...
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what really goes on inside my head?
evil thoughts
sad memories
plots
the "how-to"s
the "what-if"s
what i want to accomplish before i die
buy my own ring
earn at least 10K before i turn 30
support the family
bungee jump and survive
sky dive with someone i love
drop to at least a 47kg
say "i love you" to someone with conviction
reach,according to alvina, sexual peak...HAHAHA
say "i love you" to my parents
go to europe and backpack with someone
plan someone's wedding
make someone's day everyday
perform in at least one musical/play
open my own business (either pecking duck OR bakery)
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