fleeting emotions
i jus realise that i'm very emotional. every little thing affects me. even the wreckage that i happened to pass by one morning got me slightly affected. sigh.
hahah doesn't take a wise crack to know that i'm emotional i think. well if i read my own entries i would have that fact reiterateed and slapped across my face.
so does supressing your emotions help? no. in my opinion it doesn't but it helps in making you feel better for the time being. well one would always argue about the complexity of doing so, about pushing your feelings aside but for me, i just can't help it. since i was young i was 'trained' to just listen and not talk back. everytime i disobeyed an 'order' (man this is sounding very much like the army) i would get the most frightening glare from my mum that would more often than not put me to tears EASILY.
sigh...
oh well...doesn't help that i've become what i am now eh? but what can be done? i guess by using avenues like blogging and exercising i'm trying to combat my fluctuating moods.
so now...it's back to being a pretender.
(which kinds reminds me of a song...yes i'm a great pretenderrrr whoo whooo...)
renzi screams again...
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