screamings from the heart
i love my life
but sometimes it can be unbearable, not to mention heartbreaking
this is my life and my other side...
Saturday, April 30, 2005
1:30 PM
issues
the prob of shutting yourself out from so many issues is that when it comes back to haunt you, it hits you harder than you expect. sigh...
was jus chatting with jon t about friends. he mentioned that he started getting sick of aussie. my reply to him was that i was used to it. i am, well i think i am. every sem, i get to know a diff set of friends. i'm not too sure whether it's a good or bad thing. jon commented that it was disturbing because it's almost a scenario of people coming in and out of my life. how true it is...it's so temporal. you'll never know when they're going to shut the door on you and leave a concrete footprint in your heart.
well i guess i'm numb, or i choose to ignore that fact that ppl come in and out of my life. sad but true. this got me thinking and asking myself : so who are my friends? i do feel lost and lonely when i think about that. who are my friends in aussie? who are mine in singapore? who can i call in the middle of the night to rant and rave? i can't tink of any right now. i mean i keep things to myself all the time. it's a habit since i was young.
and reason being i dun like to get hurt. i've trusted many people but they've crushed my little heart. i tink ppl think i'm very strong but deep down i'm screaming. how apt. the title of this blog is screamings from the heart. i need someone...GOD I NEED SOMEONE.
sigh...friends, family... my my... these are the two main things that keep me so sad and yet happy. sigh....i wanna cry now. i'm so weak. my gosh.
renzi screams again...
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what really goes on inside my head?
evil thoughts
sad memories
plots
the "how-to"s
the "what-if"s
what i want to accomplish before i die
buy my own ring
earn at least 10K before i turn 30
support the family
bungee jump and survive
sky dive with someone i love
drop to at least a 47kg
say "i love you" to someone with conviction
reach,according to alvina, sexual peak...HAHAHA
say "i love you" to my parents
go to europe and backpack with someone
plan someone's wedding
make someone's day everyday
perform in at least one musical/play
open my own business (either pecking duck OR bakery)
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