my dreams, my thoughts, my battles, my life

Monday, October 25, 2004
9:18 PM

if i die...

i know morbid is my middle name bcos i constantly think of death and how people would react and many others along those lines.

funny thing is i realised, that many people talk about the joy of life and how wonderful it is to live life. but hey we tend to avoid or miss out well the darker things in life, one of which is death.

was just thinking...if i had something to say to a couple of people who mean something to me, actually quite a bit to me...what would i say.......and i came up with this:

1. dad: thanks for everything, for taking care of me materially and for ever spoiling me.

2. mum: thanks for being whatever that you are to me. you may not be the world's perfect mum, but you are perfect to your daughter!

3. ken: hey stupid boy i just wanna thank you for bearing with me and my tantrums. i think other than my family, no one has experienced my tantrums. (LUCKY BASTARD) guess you mean a lot to me.

4. karen: my best friend. i love you for loving me and i thank you for just being karen, my shining sun! *wink*

5. jean: prob one of my longest neighbour, sister and friend. i appreciate you for being "mean jean" and for being yourself. you're one in a million.

6. alv: the house brought us together and everything else that happened brought us even closer together. thank you for being there for me and for being my serogate mum in aus

7. persis: my ever-concerned cousin. i've known you since i was born and ppl say that we can't choose our family, but even if i had a choice, i would not choose anyone else to replace you!

8. rencong: although we only know each other for less than 2 years, i still thank you for being my special buddy and i love you! (AS A FRIEND AH!!!)

9. eemin: my buddy since secondary school. thanks for everything and for just loving me for who i am =)

hahahhaa...the list goes on....this is only the beginning. after some time i would update this. until maybe it becomes a really long string of ppl in my life =)

hahah i always think that i'll die everytime i fly an aeroplane. i hate flying. sigh... so if i die on the 20th next month. whoever reads this, show this to my parents. (THAT IS IF I DIE! HAHAHH)

renzi screams again...

what really goes on inside my head?
evil thoughts
sad memories
plots
the "how-to"s
the "what-if"s

what i want to accomplish before i die
buy my own ring
earn at least 10K before i turn 30
support the family
bungee jump and survive
sky dive with someone i love
drop to at least a 47kg
say "i love you" to someone with conviction
reach,according to alvina, sexual peak...HAHAHA
say "i love you" to my parents
go to europe and backpack with someone
plan someone's wedding
make someone's day everyday
perform in at least one musical/play
open my own business (either pecking duck OR bakery)

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