an excerpt from my diary...
"showing emotions is good and being bitchy gives u the upper hand to beslightly emotional. i think it's even better than tryin to accommodateto everyone else in the planet. what sort of person are you if youkeep tryin to please everyone? a NOBODY. even if you die, no onecares. your pleasings, your good nature and ultimately your death isswept under dust after a while. cynical but true. nobody remembersdeath. nobody will remember you after you die. maybe temporarily butpeople move on. that's life."
yeappers....well jus reflecting on why i'm being so bitchy...but fuck it...i'm done with that debate for now. man...i've been dealing with this for years now...will there be any closure? it's hard... constantly insecuritites get the better of you and you fall, pick yourself up and harden your heart. why is that so? i really dunno but i'll deal with it all my life... but it's all good =) i think i learn more in some ways.
and i know i've been lamenting how much i want to go back. i realise it's a form of escapism. maybe it's true, not confronting what mess i've got myself into but oh well... i'll make the best out of it, try to be ignorant of a couple of things and right some wrongs before i go back. that's the best i guess. I WILL NOT SAY THAT I WANNA GO HOME...i will say tat no more. i'll look forward to whatever i have.... be it good or bad and face whatever melody, music and trash i have listen to.
OH MY GOSH i tell you blogging is soo addictive, writing makes me think and thinking makes me want to write some more...this is sSOOOOO bad...but fuck it...fuck it...seriously... =)
heheh (my gosh in a span of an hour, i wrote 5 entries...MAN!!!)
(i will no whine n lament how life's bad now...not now....i still have a lifetime to do that...i will try to concentrate on what's in store for me right now...good or bad...i shall be optimistic!)
renzi screams again...
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