i've to come to terms with this soon...
i'm not too sure whether kenneth did make sense in his analysis about me being jealous of my bro. i really dunno but if i'm supressing it, isn't it good in a sense? even if i come to terms with it, what can it do? how does it help? it doesn't change anything. my brother will still be my brother. i can't turn back time and go back to when i was 13 and still an only child. (mAN! that was years ago...)
sighness...
and another issue that i keep thinking about is... kenneth and my paranoia. it gets to me sometimes but i can't seem to concentrate on other things, tasks at hand. it's so ironic that i did something like that to him, and he's still so forgiving. why?? why can't he scold me? or ignore me for a while, or even hurt me...? i can't forgive myself...
renzi screams again...
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