my dreams, my thoughts, my battles, my life

Thursday, January 04, 2007
12:21 PM

Moving moving GONE!

I have moved to my wordpress account. I'm almost done with my blogger days. I still have my renzi account, but will move soon, when everything's more settled.

Click here to access my other blog.

renzi screams again...

Tuesday, January 02, 2007
11:22 PM

the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.

I was reminded about that by another friend who never fails to be there. He emailed me back when I said that it was a crappy year last year. One thing, one very good thing, that came out from all this turmoil is the revelations that my friends are gems to me and more importantly God was there.

One thing happened which really gave me peace was the other day when I was having my facial. My facial started off really badly, the attendant was extremely rough, almost inexperienced. It really irritated me. To top it off, the next door gym was blasting loud music. My much anticipated relaxing session looked as though as it was going to be ruined. It was until she placed a mask over my face, switched off the lights and left the room before even the music next door subsided. Timing was impeccable.

I knew I couldn't sleep because it was the start of the day and I was awake, so I started praying for Ken. For some reason, I just kept praying for him. I asked God to protect him and grant him someone whom he can love whole-heartedly and who loves him back.

Then I also asked God why things have to happen this way - that everything was of such bad timing. And I could so relate to this french flick "Love me if you dare", that the couple did and went out of their way to hurt each other. Ultimately at the end of the day, they knew that they loved each other so much (erm...the rest of the story was a little warped but that's beside the point). I kept questioning what and why. I kept asking about the future of myself and even Ken.

I actually sensed God telling me "when you are ready". I knew it was from Him because I've had this extremely rare experience with Him before. I kept feeling that. And when I finally asked Him what it meant, I sensed something else, which was...well, too private to mention I guess. I'll take it with me and I'm very blessed I feel to have felt what I did.

When I'm ready eh? *grin*

Whatever you say God...so be it =)

renzi screams again...

Wednesday, December 27, 2006
8:23 PM

my horoscope for today

Your heart wants to take action today, Renee, but your head is bound to get warning signs telling you to slow down. Perhaps it seems as if you are driving on a two-way road, and all of a sudden the two lanes become one. You want to proceed, yet there is the possibility that an oncoming car is lurking right around the corner. Use caution, slow down, but don't feel like you have to pull over entirely.

renzi screams again...

Feelings

...nothing more than feelings. Feelings can't feed the fucking poor. Feelings can't give you life. Feelings are just fucked up.

In my other blog, my most recent entry, I realised that I had feelings of disappointment, anger, sadness and resignation.

Oh well... time to move Renee.

renzi screams again...

Friday, December 22, 2006
5:22 PM

Where is the love?

Father Father Father help me
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?

renzi screams again...

Thursday, December 21, 2006
7:17 PM

I always thought

I always thought that if two people like each other, that's all that matters. I guess I am wrong - I was too idealistic and dumb.

renzi screams again...

Last night...

Last night I saw you the first time
Since we broke up
I tell you baby it all came back to me
When I looked into your eyes
There was something more
That I never really noticed before
Could it be
That in long
And I was so wrong
When I realized
And turned around that you were gone

Choruse:
If I say I want you back
Would you turn around and say you want me too
Cuz I say I want you back
This time I really mean it

There's so much I wanna tell you
I've changed so few
But I don't know what to say or do
We grew apart but I still want you in my heart
I believe it's to make a new start
Could it be
That in long
And I was so wrong
When I realized
And turned around that you were gone

(Chorus)

If I say
I want you
Want you back
Will you turn and walk away from me
If I say
I want you back with me
Believe

renzi screams again...

My horoscope for today... hmmmm

The difficulty is that what you want and what you think you want are two different things. You may have seduced yourself into believing that you know where a certain relationship is going. But in actual fact, if you let go of the reins for a while you could discover it turns out even better.

renzi screams again...

Wednesday, December 20, 2006
2:24 PM

bleah

If you wanna come across as a sympathetic prick, you're doing a great job.

renzi screams again...

Monday, December 18, 2006
9:58 PM

A slightly better entry compared to the last ones for the past 2 mths.

This was given to me when I was still....... hmmmm

Nice flowers eh? I put this picture on my MSN for the past god-knows few weeks. Don't think he notices. Well. I still remember when I got this I was swooning over it and almost practically got swept off my feet. Of course the proud me didn't show it lah. The other dude said something but I defended MrE.

Well...all's the past isn't it? But I still have the card hahaha...

Being sentimental doesn't get you anywhere renzi...

Yes Yes, I know. Guess I should change my MSN picture. I've already changed to being less angsty. Yeap...I will... It's the season to be jolly isn't it?

Before I know it...I'm done =)

renzi screams again...

My dream guy

hmmmm...I had this dream, among many other dreams, that I met this guy. This guy looked extremely familiar. Even in the dream I exclaimed that I seemed to have met him somewhere. He seemed to give me some sort of security that no guy gave and for some reason I was head over heels crazy about him. I've no idea why I decided to blog about this but guess I'm just dreaming.

Dream guy eh? hahhaha no pun intended.

renzi screams again...

Sigh...what has happened to us?

This was taken after Carol's wedding.

Sigh...I seem to have lost you already. It's really sad. What has happened to us in a short span of 2 mths? I'm puzzled, disappointed and sad but what can I do? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

I will still wait...

renzi screams again...